Filled to the Brim
The Spirit fills. The servant speaks. — Acts 4:8,31
There is a calling on my life.
I ran from it before, but I am pursuing it now.
The call to ministry.
If you’ve been with me for a while, you’re probably thinking, yeah… we got that, big guy.
And you’d be right.
But you also know my head is like a rock.
It takes me a while.
I get there — eventually — but I take the long road.
The path of most resistance.
And here I am at 43, going for it.
I’m in classes now.
Hearing words like ordination and pastor spoken over my life for the first time.
It still feels surreal.
Humbling doesn’t even begin to cover it.
Jesus transformed me.
Completely.
And I intend to spend the rest of my life telling anyone who will listen about Him —
the gospel, the good news, the rescue I didn’t deserve.
The Barrier
Along the way I learned something about ordination in my denomination.
There are two things that qualify as barriers:
felonies and divorces.
Each must be reviewed.
Explained.
Testified through.
And finally faced in an interview before the district credentials board.
Yesterday was my day.
I was nervous — big nervous.
But from the moment I walked into that church outside Richmond, something was different.
God was moving.
I ran into people I hadn’t seen in years.
Met pastors I’d never met before.
And I have never felt so welcomed anywhere in my life.
Paul wrote:
“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
— Romans 8
And later:
“Nothing… will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.”
I lived that yesterday.
No condemnation.
No separation.
Only love.
The Dead Man
At one point I told the board that half of the narrative they were reading was about a dead man.
Because the man who was married then did not know Christ.
But God.
God brought him out of that failure.
Gave him a godly woman.
And this year we celebrate 20 years of marriage and seven children.
Redemption has a long arc.
And God writes it better than anyone.
Filled in the Moment
I gave my testimony.
I answered their questions.
I spoke Scripture.
And there were moments — unmistakable moments — where I was not operating in my own strength.
I was controlled.
Directed.
Empowered.
I spoke for Christ with courage to seasoned pastors evaluating my life.
Acts 4 says:
“Peter, filled with the Holy Spirit, said…”
— Acts 4:8
And later:
“They were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God with boldness.”
— Acts 4:31
That’s what it felt like.
Not emotion.
Not adrenaline.
Not performance.
Clarity.
Conviction.
Courage.
The ability to say exactly what needed to be said about Christ — without fear.
I poured everything out on that altar.
I bled for Christ all over that room.
And when it was over, the board voted unanimously:
YES — barrier removed.
No Coincidences
The District Superintendent hugged me and said he loved me.
And this is the best part:
The first man who ever discipled me — the one God used to start my entire walk —
was sitting five feet from me the entire time.
Who writes stories like that?
There are no coincidences in redemption.
What It Means to Be Filled
Here’s what I learned yesterday.
All believers possess the Spirit.
But not every believer is filled in every moment.
Acts 4 shows that clearly.
The same apostles who received the Spirit in Acts 2 were filled again in Acts 4.
Why?
Because filling is not about receiving the Spirit.
It’s about yielding to Him.
It’s about being controlled by Him when obedience is costly and courage is required.
I did not pray, “Fill me,” yesterday.
But I did yield.
I did obey under pressure.
And the Spirit of God met me there.
That is what it means to be filled.
The Invitation
Most Christians think being filled with the Spirit is about emotion, or intensity, or spiritual experiences.
Acts 4 says otherwise.
Being filled is when a man:
chooses obedience over fear
truth over approval
Christ over self-protection
And in that moment, the Spirit gives him boldness beyond himself.
Yesterday, in a small church outside Richmond, under evaluation for my past,
I experienced Acts 4.
And I will never read “filled with the Spirit” the same way again.